good noon love...

another boring monday. im feeling the blues again... and darn am i so sleepy... 2 more weeks and i be tendering my resignation. i just cant stand this annoying job and having to face two mean monsters daily really brings me down.. bored fuck now.. too much things need to be done yet im not able to do any cos im kinda sleepy now.. haha!! RELIEVED cos they're both on a business trip so wont be pissing me off this week... "come on vivi... just tahan till you get your paycheck..." god please help me...

smalam was fun... getting caught in the rain, walking around and dinner at arab st, smuggling some cheap ciggies in our bag, and walking from dhoby ghaut till orchard... tired but worth every min and penny of it... hehe. hmmm... i think what the people are saying to me ... its becoming true... but im totally brushing off the thoughts away... no more love in my heart... no more eu in my mind... i wouldnt wanna be stuck to my own friend... i like the way it is now... carefree, happy, single(lonely at times) but overall its pretty neat! my chest feels heavy now... help me... save me... haiz... me and my dream... "he is kinda idealistic in a way" "NO vivi... you cant!! he is your buddy..." things are better off this way... especially since i do not want to scare him away... i nid him to confide in... my buddy... yeah buddy it shall be... :(

those pictures we took... so "picture perfect" i like it ... and i hope he likes it too. shhhssshh diary... its jus between me and eu... secretly and discreetly im falling for eu... its wrong but it jus feels so right. complication jus sucks!! my fingers getting numb, my mind getting stale... time to leave now...

i love eu diary... i really do...
2:00 PM
loveLESS+hateNESS

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mood : singing



hello baby...

1 more day to the fun-filled weekend. yay-NESS!
1)friday - gonna mitup SENTOL to discuss further arrangement on our clothing line, get some cheap goodies(it sure will please me & him, sleepover WATIK's place, maybe hanging out with the cuties from B.B...
2)saturday - morning dip at the local swimming pool with WATIK, dinner with my family late evening.
3)sunday - sleep+eat+tv = couch potato.

err.. i think i got a date on my birthday but its still not confirm though... bah!!!

its been a while since something "COOL" happen to me so i aint got much to say for now plus im stuck at work with nothing much i could do as my coy's server seems to be down(i pity JAGAN though, stayed till 3am on wednesday night). so here i am writing my thoughts away, hitting my fingers on the keyboard tabs and humming to myself to some old punkrock songs thats suddenly made my live more energetic like i was still 16(i wished!).

why do i always end up with argument with AZY? sometimes he just get on my nerves i admit but when i dont talk to him... i feel something missing cos im so used to being him around... its not that im having a major crush on him or anything... He is great i must say... you girls would die for a BF like him but i just cant seem to push myself to like him in any way... im still looking for my Mr Punkrocker... where art thou, Mr Punkrocker? wishing and hoping one day he will appear at my doorstep with his guitar to sweep me off my feet.

i've started my diet plan. okok i know baby... im a freak... but i just wanna look good and flash myself in those my-own-design clothings plus a great hairstyle which will surely sweep u guys away and send regrets to those who left me standing on my own now.. *grins* lalalala hohohohoh ... no more excess foods, no more unhealthy foods, no more junk foods...

one thing for sure, beauty kills my dear....
1:21 PM
loveLESS+hateNESS

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mood : Pained



hey love... currently at work now. Monday blues again!! Im so over Hari Raya and its a record for me cos for the year 2006 i only visited a total OF 4 houses. By the way i've been staying at home alot these days and less partying. a Fcuk - up life i might say... with a pathetic job that i so need to quit. Neway staying home means gorging alot on food(which is bad!) and sleeping too... and i guess that is the reason why im having alot of dreams lately, involving ahmad and zahid in them...

haiz~ im gonna start on a strict diet, people are saying im fat. it jus sucks... but smsing with sentol yesterday night help me feel better about myself. thanks dude i appreciate it & to azy also for making me feel better about myself. i just have to let the hunger linger in me for now.

By the way, i saw uncle yesterday and he look so so FAT... and he aint as cute as before... maybe his anorexic gf been gorging him food instead of herself... teehee~

ZOUKOUT around the corner baby... and oh ya its the month of november so it means im turning 22 this 21st Nov 2006. Yup! older means wiser.. *i hope* i've gotta tone my body down by 9 Dec 2006 by the way!!!!

i've gotta run now! peace!
9:20 AM
loveLESS+hateNESS

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mood: pained


evening dearest,

my office hour routine just ended @ 630pm... stress and more stress.. stoopid KECH just wont seem to get off my back and seem to be harping on me, every min of the day.. FCUK u by the way... ok² enuff of my crappy work. let's get on to other important stuffs... "lovely" mr Mark offered me an irresistable offer... 1mth overseas attachment @ Bangkok, Thailand which is yet to be confirm though. im crossing my fingers... i so need to get away from Singapore.

weird dream i had yesterday....
it seems so vivid and clear but yet i cant seem to recall exactly what my dream was.. but its was "ahmad" in the picture. it kinda make me ponder over why am i thinking or dreaming about him... issit bcos i miss him? or issit bcos i did feel for him? the answers i cant seem to find it myself... Darn~

visited zahid & jez "love blog".... errr~ im so envious of them i must admit...
well, DONT blame me!! He is the closest guy i ever met on earth that comes even close to replacing "ajul".... no one else ever did... somehow it was a deep impact on me when he abruptly left, without even saying goodbye.

im hurt,
im lost,
im confuse,
i need help...

dearest, i just hope when i wake up tomorrow morning... it be a brighter day instead of this hazy/gloomy/blue monday...AMIN
6:48 PM
loveLESS+hateNESS

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mood: prettygood




huha dearest,

its the 22nd day of Ramadan, a hazy saturday with PSI:115.
finally, i've completed my blog reconstruction... a new layout i created with the help of "Adobe Photoshop".... something that reflect the true side of me. the angst that has been so well hidden by me all these while...

this week has been a total blast, here goes;
MONDAY: dinner at pizza hut with "watik", a short walk @ esplanade, whining about how boring our friends/life were".
TUESDAY: met up "idalia"+"azy", had free dinner @ Thai Express.
WEDNESDAY: short trip to Geylang with "Ameen", kinda boring though.. damn!
THURSDAY: supposedly to meet "Home" @ Pasir Ris but he M.I.A, instead "me+Yan+Sentol" chillout @ McD Tampines.
Friday: free dinner @ Newton with "Faizal+Watik+Wak+Me+Bobby", cruising ard Sg in a "Proton Gen2", visited Labrador Park+JurongHill Park+West Coast Park.
Saturday: wokeup @ 2pm, edited my blog, watched Prison Break, mini-treat dinner for my family, chilling @ the comfy of my room.
Sunday: Shee-shaing & free dinner @ Al-Majlis with "Yan+Watik+Sentol+Me", cam-whoring.


my grey sky are clearing and i hope things be as sunny as before by 2007. by the way here's a shot i took of myself on friday the 13th...


10:59 PM
loveLESS+hateNESS

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huha~

my blog has been around for so long but somehow it jus collected dust... but thanks to watik, i've decided to pick up this hobby... teehee~

okok im near to 1/4 done for the whole revamp of this page... i new to create a new layout using photoshop(even though my pc like fucking suxs!!) & i need to be more bold in expressing my thoughts... no more hiding or two-face fucker... okok i got tons of work to clear... i be back with a total new page... i promise...
2:44 PM
loveLESS+hateNESS

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mood : pained


hola~
finally im having the time to jot down my thoughts.

need to update my blog,
need to upload my pics,
need to edit my pics,
need to find the missing piece in my life.

im so over the graduation fever,
and im gonna post below two pics,
something i design,
something simple yet glamourous,
YAH RITE~ BAH~

my life is playing like a film without sound right in front of my eyes

why do i still feel so lost??
why do i still feel so scared??
why do i still feel pain??
why do i still feel empty??

im starting to like you,
but i keep telling myself not to,
im scared that i might fall for you,
dont wanna be stuck on you....




1:32 AM
loveLESS+hateNESS

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